Supermarket

God appears to a man and says ‘you’ll have to give up smoking, drinking and sex if you want to go to heaven’.

A week later God re-appears and asks him how it’s going.

The man says ‘the smokes and the drink were easy to give up, but when my wife bent over to take the meat out of the freezer, I couldn’t resist and had to give her one there and then’.

God says ‘They don’t like that sort of thing in heaven.’

The man replies ‘They don’t like it in Coles either’.